Conflicted feelings

If you've been following my blog (or to future me when I look back at these posts in a few years and laugh), you will see what a roller coaster ride this has been over the last month or so.  Recap in a nutshell: lost my job, was first very scared but then reworked the numbers and realized it was the opportunity to ramp up the plans a bit faster.  Have been working very hard on getting the house ready, and making good progress.  Started plugging my business and actually have 3 steady clients already.  In fact, yesterday, one who has committed to 32 hours a month wants to up it to 90 hours!!!  Most importantly, however, is how we psyched ourselves into living the dream sooner rather than later.  In everything we do, we try to picture ourselves in the RV.  Everything we try to purge, we ask if it will be used in the RV and where it will be stored, before giving or throwing it away.  So we are so ready to take the plunge....

But then, 2 weeks ago, I was called for a job interview back in Corporate America.  The phone interview went well and I was called back for an in-person.  I had that interview this week and I think it went very, very well.  I have a very strong feeling that I will be offered this job, as I think I have the skills and personality they're looking for.

Which leads to the conflicting feelings.  Well, not really conflicted.  Conflicted means I'm not sure how I feel and I am actually very strong in my feelings -- I do NOT want this job!!!  The thought of taking it makes me depressed and I am wishing real hard that the offer is not made (although in my gut, I think it will be).  Unfortunately, as other people have suggested, it may not be a choice I can freely make right now.  Yes, it means putting the dream back on hold for a while, but in the short term it provides more financial stability and allows us to build up the nest egg.  I don't want to give up the business I've started, but many have suggested I can do it when I come home from work (meaning working 24/7) or subcontract as much as possible.

I guess the conflict lies in following my head which says (as I often tell my rebellious son) "sometimes you have to just suck it up and do things you don't want to do," or following my heart, which is to follow my dreams and move onto the Next Chapter now.  Before the interview, we concluded that it CAN be done, so why do we need to change that now?

Anyway, I'll know their decision some time this week.  Strongly wishing this whole worrisome issue is a moot point and that someone else gets offered the job.  Then at least I'll have a good excuse to stay on track.

Another update - cleanup slowed down this week

Repairs have been coming along fast and furious.  Only maybe another 2-3 full days of work before we can list.  However, we still first have to empty the place -- mostly of M's millions of cables and computer components which rather than throw out, he has to sort through and decide if he wants to keep or sell.  Huge arguments there :(

In any event, M had to work Mon & Tues of this week and he will be working again Thurs & Fri, which only gave him today (Wed) to work on the cleanup project.  He did that for only about 1/2 day, as he decided he had to build a computer also.

I, also, managed to get 3 new jobs from my newly formed business, which has kept me busy for the full days.  I have deadlines and will probably be working through next week on at least one of them.  I'm NOT complaining.  Remember we had to ramp up our sales plans due to my loss of a job and M not having gigs since Sept.  So any jobs that come in are a true blessing so we can pay bills for another month.  Still, it would be great if we could find a balance between work and cleaning out.

Oh well, onwards and upwards at any rate.

Cleanup status

So far today we cleared out our dresser drawers and linen closet.  I was amazed that M pretty  much wanted to throw (or give) almost everything away; I was afraid he had a great attachment to his shirts!!!  We basically went from 4 dressers to 2, but we know there will need to be at least one more clothing downsize as we'll probably only have one 4 drawer dresser in the RV.

Got rid of a lot of towels and sheets; only kept 2 sets of queen size for our current bed (hopefully RV will have a queen sized bed).

Feeling very good.  So far not having any attachment to possession issues.

Moving very FAST!

I can only pray that the sale of the house goes as quickly as everything else is going right now.  It's scary, exciting, and somewhat nerve wracking having moved from taking little baby steps for the past 3 years, to taking a giant leap and trying to get EVERYTHING done over the course of the next 2 weeks or so.

The contractors are literally pulling the rug up from under us.  We had wanted to completely clean out each room before they started working, but they are basically just moving everything out of their way to do the work.  So almost every closet and drawer and piece of furniture has been moved to different rooms.  The place is utter chaos and will only get worse over the next few days.  But that's all right... because once the work is done, we can do a better cleanup.  Things will either be packed for the RV (probably not more than 3-4 boxes), put on the side to donate, sell (only if its worth more than $50) or put in the dumpster that's now in the driveway.  The real cleaning out is happening right now!!!

Also, something else I hadn't anticipated would happen so quickly was finding a new home for the cats.  My cousin will take 2 and my sister in law may know someone who can take the third.  Worst case we will bring Nutmeg (who is 14) to the RV with us, but that is a total last resort.  As much as we love him, he has never traveled before, he is old, and I think it may be too traumatic for him.  Not to mention I don't want the litter box in the middle of the space nor do I want to keep the shower door open at all times.  Just not enough space for him there.  Not that we couldn't figure out a way if we really wanted to, but we don't.

We were also very fortunate that a relative loaned us a few dollars towards the repairs, so we may be able to get a fairly decent price after all.  Since we don't have good furniture to show, the plan is to have the rooms completely empty.  I kind of like that as well - I find furnishings too distracting.  When looking at homes, my eye tends towards judging the furniture and decor rather than trying to picture how my stuff would look there.  Much easier to imagine if there's nothing in there.

Accomplished so far:
-floors and painting replaced in the entire house except 1 bedroom (which will be done tomorrow)
- kitchen floor and counters replaced, new stove coming next week
- bathroom fixtures replaced

Still need to do:
- repaint house except bedrooms and kitchen
- replace garage and front doors

At this rate, all may be done by the end of next week and we may even be able to list the house by mid-January!

Major milestone day!!!

Nothing that I haven't already reported on, but it occurred to me as I exited  my corporate office for the last time today, that I am truly starting the Next Chapter of my life today.

Contractors are here and working very fast.  One more room is finished (bedroom) and the kitchen will be worked on tomorrow.  At this pace, the house may be ready to list in about 2 weeks.

Moving right along

The realtor took one look at our furnishings and agreed that we really need to get rid of anything we're not currently using.  It will make the rooms look much larger and folks won't get distracted by such ugly stuff.

Dumpster is coming at the end of the week.  Where we've been taking slow, baby steps for the past 3 years, suddenly we're forced to take a giant leap and move ahead very quickly.

Anticipating a LOT of stress and tension between me and M over all the things we need to throw or give away.  The only items we'll put in storage are a few boxes of "maybe" stuff.  We'll only pack the very bare minimum for the coach, but since we won't know how large (or small) it will be, there may be a chance we'll have more storage space than originally planned.  And by additional stuff, I mean maybe a few extra pairs of jeans or sweaters, 2 suits instead of just 1, my Passover pots & pans.  Stuff like that.  M will have the most problem deciding about all his tools and computer components!

Ready to move on

Well, the job opportunity for M did indeed fall through.  We only have enough $ in the bank for 2-3 months to pay bills, so we MUST sell the house REAL FAST.  Meeting with realtor next week.

Nothing holding us back now.  Once we sell, we can determine what kind of rig to get based on how much $ is left over. Certainly won't be the condo on wheels we were dreaming of (the DRV Mobile Suites with separate room for the office in the back), but hopefully it can be something decent.

We've wanted this day to come for the past 3 years.  Maybe it took a traumatic event like this to push us towards it.  Still feeling very scared, but I really should start getting excited.